Five Lessons Learned in 2013

Here we are in a new year. I will turn 68 years of age in 2014. You would think that lessons in life would be harder to come by. Not so, they occur every day. It is hard to limit this list of lessons to just 5. I did 10 last year and I admit that reading that post put me to sleep.

LESSON ONE: Stay on Top of your Business

I have been practicing real estate now for 11 years going into my 12th. I have just completed the worst year in my personal history. I had a 30 year career with DuPont and was very successful. The first ten years of practicing real estate were more than I could have hoped for. I sold more than $15 million in that time frame. I earned some significant extra pay in those years. Now I come to the conclusion of a dismal year. I have thought about it and I conclude that you must stay on top of your business. Some of the downturn is just pure serendipity. However, some of it is my fault. The truth is that I played too hard in 2012 and others who were more hungry and more proactive took my share of the business. The solution? Get back on top by planning, communicating and implementing. I will turn it around. The old saw " If it is to be, it is up to me !" lives right here.

LESSON TWO: Your doc does not always know. You know your body better than he or she.

I worked within the medical industry for thirty years. I interacted with many physicians. I learned one important lesson about all of them. They are human. In saying that, I am expressing the fact that they are fallible, lazy, disinterested and progammable. I use this one example. I swallowed Pravachol for probably ten years. I am smart enough to know that I need to be on a lipid lowering modality for the rest of my life. I developed a pain in my collar bone area. I thought it to be unusual and I attributed it to straining the muscles there picking up my cherubic, but fat little grand children. On a visit to my physician of 15 years, I expressed to him that I was having neck pain. I also told him that I thought it was musculo-skeletal and most likely caused by the Pravachol. Afterall that is listed in the prescribing information as a common side effect. All he heard was neck pain and picking up fat little grand children. He wanted to give me a nuclear stress test immediately. I told him no way that was happening. All I needed was to change statins or get off of them totally. He would not hear of it. Solution? I took myself off of Pravachol and switched to another statin. Result? The pain went away competely. I reported this to him on a subsequent visit. Result? He still wanted to get me into his cardiologist buddy's nuclear stress clinic and most likely into their cath lab. Result? I got me a new doc and I have been happy as a clam ever since. I also might add, very well cared for as a result of the change.

LESSON THREE:  Jail ain't cool.

I refer to an earlier post to this BLOG about the jury duty I served back in January 2013. I helped send a graduate teaching assistant with a Master's Degree on his way to a PhD to jail for more than 5 years. His crime was soliciting a minor child for sex using the internet via computer. The evidence against him was just overwhelming. I saw him, his girl friend and his mother hang their heads and cry uncontrollably when the sentence was pronounced. The thought that experience left in my mind was that no crime is worth the risk of ending up in jail. Jail ain't cool.

LESSON FOUR: Change is REAL.

My wife and I have perfomed a labor of love for the last three years of our life. That is giving child care to our little grand daughter while our son and daughter-in-law worked. She showed up on her 7th week of life at 6:30 AM and went home at 4:30 PM until she was almost three. We listened to her enunciate her first words. We watched her take her first steps. We watched her grow more beautiful every day. She loved us and we loved her back in geometric proportions. One day our son announced that he was taking a job in a city 400 miles to the south of us. The process to accomplish that move took two months. We put her into a car and delivered her to her new home. We then drove home without her. That was almost 6 weeks ago. Our hearts are still tender from the separation. Sure we have 6 other grand children but this one was special because of the nurturing we provided her. She has a wonderful mother and father. Our hearts are starting to heal a bit because we are busy with life. We have Face timed with her numerous times. Her parents update us almost every day with pictures and videos. She is now in day care. From all indications a good one. We are starting to believe that we will survive the change. The lesson is re-learned. Change is constant and sometimes very, very difficult.

LESSON FIVE:  Death is a certainty.

A morbid lesson re-learned. I suppose that it is a matter of chronologic progression that you have more and more friends and acquaintaces and family leave you behind and go with God. This past year I helped bury a dear friend of 40 years of age who had very special needs. His parents grieve still and we all miss him. I despise the pain and hurt that his parents feel especially. I helped memorialize a dear friend of 30 years who was 82 who had been the victim of Alzheimers. Her death was a blessing most especially to her. Yet those that are left behind grieve her and miss her. We lost a dear friend and neighbor. He was my friend of many years but he adored our little grand daughter, Bellamy, I am pretty sure more than me. I saw and spoke with him on a Friday. He brought some satsumas to his little friend, Bellamy. He, knowing that Bellamy was moving, queried me as to what was he going to do when Bellamy left. And then, as fate would have it, he died the following Monday of a cardiovascular event. He was 79 and lived a most wonderful life. However, as is always the case we who stay behind in this fallen world struggle on without him and miss him. I also have dear friends whose son, 37, put a pistol in his mouth and ended his own life. He left his wife and a 3 month old baby. The sadness of that event is indescribable. I also sat across a table and negotiated a business deal with a very nice man who I had not ever known. I could tell he was ill. I would not ever begin to think that he would die in sight of two months. Annette Funicello left us this past year. I BLOGGED about that earlier. The realization is that life is very fragile. We live moment to moment. We should do our very best to control our interaction with others because of that fact. Let kindness and patience prevail in all that we do.

Medical Marijuana, in case Oxycontin isn't doing it for you

I suppose if you live long enough you will have seen just about every liberal and demeaning piece of legislation there is roll through our state houses. Now we come to the legalization of marijuana in Florida. Apparently our chameleon friend and former Governor, Charlie Crist, is all about prescribing the benefits of Tetra Hydro Cannabinol (THC). As a morphed Democrat now he is all concerned about end stage cancer relief and glaucoma patients. Doesn't it just warm your heart? It is fitting that one of the foremost ambulance chasing law firms in the state, Morgan and Morgan, is squarely behind him.

I will admit that probably 9.9 people out of every 10 in Florida most likely light up a joint a couple times of month. It is extraordinarily common. However, it remains on the Florida statutes as a no-no. For my  money that should remain the case. There are far too many impaired people driving our highways presently. Do you really want to aid and abet more people in that regard?

Florida would become the 21st state to join the ranks of those who allow people to be prescribed marijuana for everything from glaucoma to fibromyalgia. However, guess what, prescribers can already dispense THC. Under the current DEA guidelines THC is a class 1 scheduled, controlled substance. Which means that a licensed prescriber can use it in an experimental fashion on a patient right now.

I promoted a product branded Percodan for many years. It is a schedule 2, controlled substance and is most likely the most qualitatively effective pharmaceutical product for pain available. The generic name of this product is Oxycodone. You have to go to the needle to find something that will make your pain go away more effectively. Along came a delivery system that got it into your blood stream a little better in the form of Oxycontin, marketed by Purdue Frederick. It was marketed to oncologists primarily for pain associated with cancer. Fast forward a few years and you see a glaring problem all over the country. Pill mills in various Florida locations have sprung up everywhere so the prescriber can make money and the consumer can get high. Many people die as a result of this widespread problem.

Back in the 70's there was a drug called LSD that the drug culture used to abuse.Lysergic Acid Diethylamide was used to induce a psychotic state in laboratory animals so that antipsychotic agents could be assessed as to efficacy. PCP, phencyclidine HCl, was used as an animal tranquilizer. The drug culture discovered it and it became a widespread problem. People are weird about looking for the next magic elixir. Now you make THC more available and what do you have? A bigger and wider generation of zombies to drive domestic disputes, fill up the emergency rooms and populate the pshyciatric hospitals.

The Florida Supreme court just approved a measure that will put it on the ballot in November. Those who vote will decide whether or not it is a good idea to put medical matijuana into the hands of Florida citizens. Polls indicate that such a measure would pass by 80% or more.

The apostle Paul did his own poll. He said in 2 Timothy 3: 1-4: " This know that in the last days, perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy. Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good."

So the world is ripe for medical marijuana. May the God of heaven help us all.

Log on to Craigs List and Lose Your Soul

I have had an interesting experience over the last 2-3 weeks. I have had a piece of rental property for lease and decided to post it up on Craigs List. I had great return with numerous calls and interested parties. However, for the number of interested parties I had an equal number of indecent proposals. I made the mistake of adding my e-mail to the post and had to endure being the target of phishing operations.

They all came to my e-mail in-box at odd hours of the day and night. They all sounded the same. The net result was that someone of the female persuasion was interested in me and that I should log on to a web page or call a phone number to pursue the relationship. Some even had unsolicited photoes of themselves in thier signature section or attached to the e-mail with anatomically correct images of their anatomy. Or rather someone's anatomy. I doubt that the phishers were all that attractive.

It made me recall a debate I once saw a brief sketch of between Jerry Falwell and Larry Flynt. As you may recall Jerry Falwell was the minister of the church in Lynchburg, VA who founded the Moral Majority. He was very prominent on the minister circuit. Larry Flynt was the publisher of Hustler magazine which was pronounced pornography. The encounter I saw had Flynt inquiring of Falwell how he could refer to his magazine as pornography when he admittedly had not ever read it. Falwell responded that he did not need to take the lid off of a sewer and stick his head down into it to know that it was a sewer. Score one for the preacher.

I sat on a jury sometime back in which a young man had contacted what he thought was a 14 year young girl for sex. His point of contact was, you guessed it, Craig's List. We found him guilty and he ended up facing a 5 year prison term for his pernicious activity facilitated by Craig's List.

What a shame that an internet service so widely used and successful as Craig's List should be used by the nether world of the morally and ethically challenged to trap well meant people.

Caveat Emptor indeed. You could lose your freedom, money and possibly your soul for taking the wrong turn on Craig's List.

Smack me in the head, PLEASE !

I am intrigued by the new direction in football. All of a sudden you have to be very careful how you hit someone. Otherwise you can be assessed a targetting penalty and be ejected from the game. That is just peculiar on the merits of the awareness.

I remember being knocked unconscious on a football field when I was about 15. That is the only time that I have ever been unconscious outside of balanced anesthesia. No one expressed any concerns for that episode in my life. I am not sure that my parents even knew that I was unconscious. The coaching staff wanted me off the field so they could continue the game. The referees wanted the same thing. I do not think that there was even a penalty assessed for someone knocking me out. As I recall I was doing the tackling and I hit someone incorrectly and the lights went out. Shortly afterwards I gave up football in favor of baseball and basketball.

Now, call me old fashioned, but is it not a part of playing football that you are going to get hit on occassion? Furthermore, you are coached to hit quickly and efficiently to stop the offensive player from gaining yardage at your expense. So nowadays you have to process the hit a little more deliberately. As you process that decision your opponent may run over you, possibly knocking you out, and scoring a TD on you. However, there is no penalty assessed for that occassion.

I am mystified. No, I am kidding. I am not mystified in the least little bit. You have to back up this sequence of events to incorporate the tort system. All of this concern for the safety of the players is tied to the series of successful law suits being brought against the NFL and the NCAA for player injuries. You see, football is a business first and a game second. You get a couple of multi-million dollar awards to consider and you have to react. A hefty judgement can eat into the revenue produced by your football team pretty quickly. Therefore, the leagues have sanctimoniously reacted in grave concern for the safety of players. Bull feathers ! Where were they 52 years ago when I was knocked out? Simply stated my getting knocked out in a JV game being played in Union, West Virginia was not relevent. However, had I been knocked out on a playing field in Death Valley in Clemson, SC before a national audience now that is a potentially crippling tort action.
That could negatively impact revenue flow into the ACC.

It is almost like the tobacco tort actions of twenty years ago. It is not about if I have the lack of judgement to chain smoke unfiltered Camels for twenty years. It is all about my capability in having done so, to hire an immensely talented and slimy law firm. All that has to be done is to make the case in front of a jury as to whether my poor judgement is at issue or not. The makers of the product put me at risk due to their negligent manufacturing process.

It would seem to me that if I did not want to get knocked out then perhaps I should spend my time in the stands eating hot dogs and ogling the cheerleaders. If I don't strap on pads and a helmet and go out and line up against Jadavean Clowney then I am most likely going to be in safe harbor.

The same goes for getting in the ring with Mike Tyson. How come we can continue to condone men, women beating each other up in a boxing arena and not unnecessarily change those rules? Answer is simple. That is certainly an assumed risk. The lawyers down at Velociraptors, PA, have not worked out the legal approaches on that one.......................yet.

 

Superman

Seeing the ads for Man of Steel carries me back to my boyhood. I can remember seeing the weekly episodes of Superman in black and white on our family TV which was the size of an upright Amana freezer with a 10 inch screen. I would sit on the edge of my chair and watch the trailer that would announce: “ Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings with a single bound. Look up in the sky, it’s Superman.” Clark Kent would rip off his glasses and duck into a phone booth and next you would see him taking off into the sky to rescue some poor wretch in distress.

My little five year old grandson, Benjamin, suffers from multiple personalities. I will see him on a particular day and I will greet him with a hello, Benjamin. He will respond with “ I am not Benjamin.” Well who are you? “I am Green Lantern.” On another occasion it’s hello Green Lantern. “ I am not Green Lantern, I’m Batman.” Lately he has been assuming the personality of Mario, from his addiction to Super Mario Brothers. Never do I hear him say “I am Superman.” I remember being his age and tying my Mother’s dish towel around my neck and climbing up a tree and leaping out on my younger brother when he passed underneath. Fortunately I did not hang myself nor harm my younger brother. I would always explain my intentions as trying to save him from harm or evil. He would respond that he did not want to be saved.

In my opinion, Superman has sort of gone out of style. Not enough people believe in him any longer. I would guess that it has to do with his fake identity of Clark Kent. Now, I was a dumb little seven year old kid back in his heyday but even I could determine that Superman looked just like Clark Kent without glasses. That gullible Lois Lane was in love with Superman, but she did not have the time of day for poor, hardworking Clark Kent. You talk about issues she had to have had some. Today she could be cited for some sort of political correctness impropriety. Lack of respect for sight impaired people or some such.

I keep trying to talk Benjamin into assuming the identity of Tim Tebow. This would make his father, Galen, deliriously happy. Benjamin always asks the same question when I suggest that he be Tim Tebow. He always asks, “ Who is Tim Tebow?” I can see the look of derision in his father’s eye when he makes that statement. Galen is one of Tebow’s most ardent and  fanatical supporters.

I think that Tim Tebow has the same problem that Superman does. You take him out of a Bronco uniform and put him in a Jets uniform. He still looks the same. You take him out of the Jets uniform and pour him into a Patriot’s uniform he still looks the same.

Maybe if the makers of the Man of Steel can cause there to be a resurgence in the popularity of Superman then Tebow’s agent should look into producing a movie about him. Man of Jump Pass.

Being a super hero is a treacherous business. You just cannot take your fan base for granted. One day you are cruising and the next day you are a crumpled, shell of a man wearing Kryptonite underwear.

Perhaps if Tebow makes a resurgence in Boston, Superman should hire his agent. I think it is all about promotion and the public’s willingness to believe in you and your super hero powers. I want to tell Superman, that I have always believed in him and always will. I think it was him looking over me that kept me from hanging myself with my Mom’s dish towel.

1980’s Visitor to North Florida

I want to say it was early in the 1980’s. It was a typical work day for me. I was working in my territory as a pharmaceutical representative and had planned on visiting the physicians, pharmacists and hospitals in the western-most part of my territory, Chipley, Bonifay and Marianna. It was to be a day trip. I would drive into those areas visit the customers and be home by 7:00 PM. There was an hour differential in time zones.

It was a very nice spring day. As I was driving west I saw standing on the side of I-10 an attractive blonde. She was well dressed and looked to be in her late 20’s or early 30’s. She was hitch hiking. I thought how dangerous that was and I almost picked her up just to help her be safe. I was forbidden to transport anyone other than my family in the DuPont owned company car that I was driving. I, therefore, passed her by.

The morning paper I picked up in my driveway the next day revealed the fate of that young lady. Someone had picked her up. They took her to a remote area of Tallahassee bound and gagged in the trunk of their car. She was savagely raped and then beaten in the head by a concrete block and left for dead. To my knowledge the perpetrator was never arrested.

The young lady was discovered and taken to our local hospital and admitted. The story developed that she was a nurse from Sweden. She was innocently hostelling across Florida. This was a common practice back in her country. So here she was alone and hanging on to her life and in eminent danger of dying.

I, personally, felt regret in not having picked her up and given her a lecture on how dangerous of a practice she was involved in. However, it was too late. I also felt regret that she was so savagely attacked in my home town. I was embarrassed and saddened that she had that experience here in our back yard.

What ultimately happened was nothing short of a miracle. Tallahassee, literally, adopted this young lady. A medical fund was begun to cover her medical expenses. Enough money was raised that her parents were contacted, flown here and sheltered and fed by the good people of Tallahassee. She rallied from her injuries and was ultimately able to return home with her parents.

The news became nationwide. The national press picked up on the story and Tallahassee was painted as the All American city with a very large, compassionate heart. Our sheriff, Eddie Boone, was invited onto Good Morning America to tell the story of what it was like to be the sheriff in such a place. He had all sorts of glowing things to say about the people comprising the populace of Tallahassee.

A dastardly, criminal act was overcome simply by people being kind to a stranger who was abducted and almost killed in their town. That is part of why I have lived here for 41+ years. I do not think there is any place quite like Tallahassee. Working for a world wide corporation I was offered numerous moves to other places. I chose to stay here, because I would have been wifeless had I elected otherwise. My children live here right around us today. All three of them with their spouses with their seven children love this town.

We have our share of challenges with political conundrums, homelessness, too high taxes, moderate traffic problems and the weather. I, however, will live out the rest of my life here and be buried in a little burial plot on a little hill in Quincy one day. I am proud to be able to rest quietly with that decision. 

My first love

I was 9 years old and lived on a small farm in southern West Virginia. I attended elementary school in Union. The sum total of students in my school could not have been more than 150. Television had not been a part of my life for all that long when I discovered the Mickey Mouse Club. It was in black and white and came in fairly clearly on the affiliate broadcasting out of Roanoke, Virginia. I used to go to sleep at night thinking about Annette and would often dream of her. My infatuation puzzled me. It invoked in me yearnings and feelings that I had not beforehand experienced. As I think back on my borderline obsession with her I realize, in retrospect, all women that I was forevermore attracted to had her dark, dark eyes and her dark hair.

The theme for the MMC was well directed and entertaining. They knew just what they were doing with the music and the story lines and the dancing and just general happiness. For a poor West Virginia hillbilly, her life represented something that was so far out of my reach that she seemed like a representative from heaven, an angel of sorts. Such is the fancy of a nine year old boy.

I will celebrate 40 years of marriage to Nancy in 6 days. She had dark, dark eyes and dark hair when I first met her. I thought she was pretty and was attracted to her immediately. She passed the Annette test. Annette brought happiness to me as a nine year old boy. She was the older woman because she was twelve at the time. Nancy is now 65 and has given me 3 terrific children who have in turn given me 7 precious grand children. Nancy still has the dark, dark eyes but the hair is beautiful silver. She possesses my heart like no other ever has and ever will. Ah, but there was Annette.

I learned today that Annette Joanne Funicello has died. She was 70 years of age. She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1992 and rode a wheelchair into her last years of life. I feel a funny longing in my heart. I would love to see an episode of the Mickey Mouse Club and watch her dance and sing and flirt with Spin and Marty. Perhaps I will "You Tube" an episode. I wouldn't mind seeing myself at 9 years of age and reflect on how far I have come in life. Life changes us all over its winding course of serendipity. I hope Annette had a happy life. I see she was married twice for a total of 43 years. She had 3 chlidren the oldest would be approaching 47 years of age. I hope she had grand children to make her smile and cause those dark eyes to sparkle and dance.

I will have Nancy for eternity. Even though we might be separated for a brief period of time, our marriage was pronounced by one having authority in the temple of the most high God. That makes the yearning and sadness of anticipated loss easier. Much, much easier. For time and all of eternity were the words spoken by the man who sealed us as husband and wife.

Good bye Annette. This world is a little sadder and more dismal with your passing. However, the next world is a little brighter and happier with your arrival there. Surely there must be those there that hold you dear. Some famous and some just regular, normal people, like a little 9 year old hillbilly boy from southern West Virginia. I thank you for the respites and joy you brought to me amidst a life that was challenging and filled with disappoinments but has blossomed into one filled with joy, love and happiness. Those feelings that you invoked in me were indeed attainable and I thank you for helping me see the future.