The Big Oak

If you travel roughly 30 miles north on US 319 to Thomasville, GA. you can visit one of the biggest trees on the east coast. The Big Oak is over 319 years of age and the span and girth of this large plant is "sun burn your tonsils" astonishing. You can imagine that this tree dates back in history to the late 1600's. True it was just a little sapling then but imagine the stories it could tell of our American history.

I have been to the Joyce Kilmer national forest in North Carolina. There you can see some virgin pines. As you will recall the early settlers cut down every tree in sight as they settled our country. They either built buildings with those trees or used them for fuel and warmth. The Joyce Kilmer forest contains a few trees that escaped the settlers axes and saws. You remember Joyce Kilmer penned the poem I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. Those trees are pretty impressive.

I have also been to California and observed the Seqoiuas, Redwoods whose girth is awe inspiring. However I am here to suggest to you that none are more inspiring than the Big Oak of Thomasviile.

I had a real estate client who told me an interesting story about the Big Oak. It dates back to when Dwight David Eisenhower was running for re-election to the presidency of the United States. He was running a whistle stop tour by rail. They were due in Thomasville and the people had all gathered around the train depot to hear Ike give a campaign speech. This would date back to roughly 1955.

Now Ike loved his golf and he also was quite a good photographer. On this particular occassion he and a secret service agent sneaked out the back of the train because Ike wanted to find the Big Oak and take a picture of it. They were able to find it and Ike was looking for just the right camera angle to capture its grandness. It worked out that the camera angle was from the front porch of one of the fine homes near downtown Thomasville.

Ike and the secret service agent went to the door of this home and knocked on it. The housekeeper opened the door and was astonished to find the president of the United States standing at her door with a secret service agent. The president introduced himself and the housekeeper assured him that he needed no introduction. Ike asked for the owner of the home. The housekeeper advised him that everyone who lived in the house was down at the train station waiting to hear him speak. He then asked her if she would mind if he shot some pictures of the big oak from their front porch. She assured him that would be fine and asked him if he would like some lemonade. Ike said that sounded very inviting.

After the president shot his pictures he and the secret service agent lingered on the front porch on a lovely summer afternoon sipping lemonade with the housekeeper. They lingered so long that Mamie, the wife of the president, had to make his speech for him. After a while the president and his guardian sneaked back on the train just as it was pulling out the station.

I have verified that the story is true from friends that I have in Thomasville. So the big oak is worth a drive up the road to visit. Even presidents have taken time to admire its stately branches.

The Invisible Man

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be invisible? What a cool concept. You could get into every kind of fee paid event absolutley free. You could fly on any airplane to anywhere in the world, stay in the finest hotels and eat absolutely free in all of the world's finest restaurants. Invisibility, now that could be a really exciting gig.

There are numerous ways to test the waters of invisibilty. Go to any busy mall and stand anywhere with a clipboard and tell people that you are taking a survey and would they have time to answer a few questions. If you elicit an occassional, " Get out of my way." comment you have had a pretty good day. Otherwise you will absolutely see into the world of invisibility.

Take up a cause. Wear a name tag that espouses your allegiance to a certain religion, political candidate, cure for a disease or anything else that comes to mind. Everywhere you go people will avoid you like you have ebola.

Become a sales person. Better yet a door-to-door sales person. Pick out any neighborhood and start to knock doors and ring door bells. You will see the occassional curtain pull back and maybe even an eyeball looking out at you. But they cannot see you because you, my friend, are invisible.

Go anywhere looking shabby. I mean put on your worst sneakers, tee shirt, shorts and don't comb your hair. Pretend to have a myocardial infarction in some busy place. People will step over you like you are not even there. Total and rapt invisibility.

Now here is a sure fire way to test the world of the unseen. Get old. I am telling you that is tantamount to if not total evolution into the non-reflective. There are numerous reasons for this chronologic descent into the world of invisibility. First off you don't look so good anymore. You can only stave off old and ugly so long, even with the best microsurgical intervention. Your stomach is going to sag. Your hair is going to lose its luster and when you lean over your teeth could actually fall on the floor along with your chin and facial muscles.

You don't move as adroitly as you once did. Nor do you think and verbalize things as efficiently. Don't believe me? Try getting up in a theatre as the movie ends and move to the exit. See how many 13 year olds either run over you or through you. Remember, they cannot see you because you are invisible. Try telling one of your many memories of life and how it was when you were a boy or a girl. Watch your own children roll their eyes and try to make an excuse to leave the room.

I recently took up playing golf with a septogenerian. He is a very capable golfer and a pleasure to be around. He and I both have difficulty finding golf partners because younger folks do not have the flexibility of time that we do. Also they choose to not play with oldsters because we are a little slower and more methodical and we get to hit from the senior tees. And there is also the fact that I cheat.

There is a huge advantage to being invisible. I remember in my 30's, 40's and 50's being worked to death in my church. I always had a measurably important assignment. I belong to a church that is totally run by volunteerism. Now that I am 65 I don't have anything to do that is weighty. Also in the community. Whereas I used to be asked to serve on this and that committee or teach a class or give a speech no one calls me. I can just see the speculation in those private moments that someone might remember me as to whether or not I am even still alive.

Well I suppose that it is just a matter of time to when I am totally invisible and subterrainian. I suppose that what I am experiencing presently is more a fading away. I have to say that it is not too bad. No one cares what you think or what you did back in the 60's. They are much too busy worrying about themselves to put a lot of time into using me up.

I have also not been sleeping all that well lately. I suppose when I assume that subterrainian posture I can catch up on all of that lost sleep.

PFC James Clayton Reed

My thoughts are turned this Memorial Day weekend to my first cousin, Jimmy Reed. He is one of 3 children born to my aunt Delores and Uncle Clay who lived in Los Angeles, California, light years from where I lived in West Virginia and later Montgomery, Alabama. We shared some happy childhood experiences. We did not see each other often but when we went to visit them or vice versa it was for extended periods of time. I remember him as being funny and entertaining. He was my younger brother's age almost exactly. They could always make me laugh.

Well here I am turning 65 in two days. I had a thirty year career with DuPont and got to travel a lot. I was able to carry some important assignments for DuPont and achieved some degree of recognition. I met a wonderful girl and we fell in love and raised 3 children. We have 7 grand children. I used to coach softball and baseball, volunteer in scouting, work in PTA, go on family vacations and just generally have had a great life.

Jimmy died just west of Khe Sanh during operation Purple Martin March 20,1969. That was just a little more than 30 days before his 19th birthday. He was a member of the D Company, First Battallion, Third MarDiv, USMC. He died that day along with 2nd Lt. Mike McCormick of Wellston, Ohio; LCpl Max Baer of Goshen, Ind; LCpl Steve Byars, Lakeland, Florida; LCpl Ernest Elders of Shelby, NC; PFC Norman Beck of Rockford, Il.; PFC Jeffrey Forry, Marion, OH and PFC Larry Knox of Harrisonville, MO.

I graduated from college in 1969 and rode a student deferrment to avoid military service. I also pulled a 344 as my draft lottery number. Were it not for those two happenstances I well could have had my name engraved onto that war memorial wall in Washington, DC. I have been there and was able to find Jimmy's name on that wall. It is a somber and eloquent memorial fitting as a requiem for those who gave their lives on various battlefields of the Vietnam war. For whatever purpose that war served I honor his memory this Memorial Day. I wish I could pick up the phone and call him and tell him a joke or two but that opportunity was nullified by the winds of war. His Mother, my aunt Delores, has grieved every day for her fallen son for 42 years now.

It is pure irony how some of us end up pursuing the military option. Today we have a totally volunteer military. You press the statistics on the makeup of our armed forces and you will see a lot of people who just seemed to have no other option than to join the military. The impetus is largely economic with job prospects being what they are. In mine and Jimmy's youth the draft was rampant. The selective service boards were steaming at full speed. In my case, had I not been a student it was a certainty that I would have been drafted into the miltary.

I recall that in those days you would report for a college class and two or three of the people that had been in the class the day before would be gone. You had to maintain a class standing to keep your draft exemption of 2-S. In order to do that you had to be in the upper 1/4th of your freshman class in academic performance. Fail to do that and you were draft fodder. Sophomores had to be in the upper 1/2 and Juniors in the upper 3/4. If you made it to be a senior then they left you alone. Along about my freshman year they administered the selective service standardized test. The guys at Harvard made the claim that the students in the bottom 3/4 of their freshman classes were superior to the upper 1/4 of the freshman class at State College X. So the selective service came up with the standardized test and administered it to us all in the second semester of my 1st year. You either had to maintain your academic standing or have scored 75% or better on the test. I remember scoring a 78 and my worries were ended.

There was also a point at which I was thinking I needed to drop out of college. I checked with the draft board and I was told the day after I did I would be reclassified 1-A and almost certainly drafted into the military. I do not know of Jimmy's circumstances but while I was studying Mark Twain in English 301 he was most likely doing basic training at Paris Island. Talk about worlds apart.

When I ponder the freedoms under which I live and also ponder the 58,220 war dead from the Vietnam war, the 405,399 from WW2 and the 116,516 from WW1 I feel guilty and appreciative at the same time. I do believe that those fallen willingly sacrificed their lives so that we could continue to breathe the free and unfettered air of liberty. I have to ask myself what sort of life have I led to justify the single death of my cousin Jimmy, not to mention the 100's of thousands of war dead who made similar sacrifices.

I suppose I have made small sacrifices but the bumper sticker I read once that said "All gave some but some gave all" makes me realize what an investment we all have in our freedom. Just about every American can tell a similar story as mine about my cousin, Jimmy. I contemplate why he had to lay down and die that day in Vietnam. It was because he felt the call to duty and like others of his family before him felt the obligation to serve. Pure and simple.

May we take a little time to really remember those who sacrificed their lives and well being to keep us safe and free this Memorial Day weekend. God bless you Jimmy. You were way too young to die. I hope to see you again someday, if I am worthy, and shake your hand and say thank you in person. I hope that you will see someone standing in front of you who you can feel justified your sacrifice. I need to work to become such.

A contentious world begets contentious activity

I would like to post about contention. Does it have a place in our world and in our hearts? Our country has been in an advanced contentious mindset ever since 9/11/01. Most of that contention has been directed towards Al Quada and specifically Osama Bin Laden. Now we have a president named Obama who set the Navy Seals on Osama and now we no longer have a primary outlet for our national contentious spirit, bummer.

Wonder where it is going to be directed now? Will we take on a kinder aura now that Osama has assumed room temperature? Do you think they will disband the Seals? Somehow, I don't think that is in the offing. It is just a matter of time that we all direct our innate contentious leanings towards something or someone new. Gas prices, illegal immigration, same sex marriage, taxes, etc. Those are most likely all worthy targets. But we usualy need to vent more specifically on a person. It looked like it was going to be Charlie Sheen for a while. I suppose that there are all sorts of likely candidates.

We just live in a contentious world. I don't know about your job but most people work where there is contention, either overt or mitigated. Office politics is a classic medium for contention. There is always someone who is a little less extraverted than others and may have some quirky mannerisms. They become irresistible targets. Why it even spills over into our schools even down to elementary schools. Little children bully one another. It is so bad that state legislatures intervene with anti-bullying laws. Enforceable? Hardly so. I remember when I was a kid, and I am now 65, there were always bullies around. Somehow you learned to deal with them. You either handled them yourselves or got some friends to help you handle them. It was sort of like in the wild west.

One overt symbol of our addiction to contention is our fascination with reality television. If we can sit down in front of the one-eyed monster and witness people yelling at one another we are deliriously happy. Just check out the ratings when you get a moment.

So what is the antidote? I think it is pretty simple. We need to make a resolution in our own minds that we are going to treat one another with kindness and civility. We need to inculcate some positive vibes from somewhere along the way. Reading a good book, meditation, spiritual pursuit of some sort, taking a friend to lunch and having a nice visit. I am not so sure the answer is golf. I find that to be a very demeaning and yes contentious activity. The war is between you and that infernal little ball and an inadequate swing. Well, that is another post for another day.

Sharpen the saw.

This is Steve Covey's last habit of his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Have you ever tried to cut wood with a dull saw or ax? How about trying to carve the Thanksgiving turkey with a dull knife? How about trying to enter a conversation with some quick-witted thinkers having a dull mind? I suppose that is sort of like trying to be interested in one of cousin Harvey's oft told war stories after all that monosodium glutenate you partook of at the Thanksgiving feast.

It is absolutely necessary to sharpen the saw. I just finished reading a continuing ed course book and taking the test. In order to renew my real estate broker license every two years I have to earn 14 hours of continuing education credits. That exercise forces me to study various facets of my profession and try to sharpen up on them. It is the same with all people who are licensed to practice a profession. Even physicians have to earn 36 hours of continuing education credits to renew their licenses to practice every three years. My physician son-in-law is on his way to Washington, DC in a couple of weeks to a medical convention where he will earn so many CME's.

Sharpening the saw is absolutely essential. No matter what we do in life we have to renew ourselves. We should constantly be challenging our minds with good reading material. We ought to be active in a church, synagogue or a social club. We should surround ourselves with good friends. People that we just flat out enjoy being around that stimulate us and stretch our horizons a bit. Don't discount the influence of your family. Don't let too much time go by without drinking from the fountain of family memories.

Last year about this time my wife, Nancy, was in a rehab hospital recovering from a life threatening infection. Our daughter, Beth, went to the specific effort to schedule a week for us in the Smokies around the end of July. Nancy and I thought long and hard about going because she was so weak. We decided finally to give it a try. If it got too hard on her then we were only about a 7 hour ride home.

That week was one of the most important aspects of her recovery. She had cousins from New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina all come to enjoy being together. We had a Bar B Que one afternoon where we had almost 50 people. Some of the younger Mothers had organized water balloon races and fights and a talent show for the children. It was the zenith point of our week together. Nancy tied up with an old college room mate who came over and visited one night. That was a night of laughing and telling tall tales and was restorative on its own.

Whilst I worked for corporate America over my thirty years of service we had a CEO of our company named Kurt Landgraf. He ended up being the COO of DuPont. He would always speak to us off the cuff. He would often say to us that the company had a pretty liberal vacation policy. " Take your vacation. Get away from your job. That is very important !" Doggone if that wasn't so. Every time I took off and played a little golf or went on a trip with my family I came back renewed and a little more enthusiastic about my job.

Sharpen the saw. It is vitally important.

Synergize

Covey's 6th habit is SYNERGIZE. What an interesting word. What does it mean? I used to sell a product called Percogesic. Percogesic was a combination product. It had Acetominophen (APAP) and Phenyltoloxamine (PTLX) in the formula. Of course APAP is the principal ingredient of Tylenol. PTLX is an antihistamine. Percogesic was indicated in the treatment of pain. The pitch on this product went like this: " The PTLX is contained in the combination for its synergistic effect. You see the PTLX potentiates the APAP. The one makes the other more effective causing it to work much more quickly and smoothly."

So Covey is telling us that in order for us to be effective in life we need to take the various elements of our life and combine them to potentiate one another. That makes sense and requires a little thought and a little strategy.

I like the experience I had in Boy Scouts of America as a leader. A scout is immersed in a myriad of experiences. He earns 21 merit badges and performs various projects and advances through scouting until he becomes an Eagle scout. The end result of scouting is that hopefully we see an individual who can draw on all those experiences to the benefit of the whole. One would hope to see a fairly balanced person with an ability to work through goal setting and earn confidence and effectiveness along the path. The fluer de lis which is the symbol of scouting represents the three different important aspects of the individual: physical, mental and spiritual.

I hold a bachelors degree from a liberal arts college, Huntingdon, in Montgomery, AL. I feel as though I received a good education there. I was not the Valedictorian of my class, that guy is now a U.S. Senator named Jeff Sessions. However, I did pass through the curriculum and attained the baccalaureate. All of those elements of my liberal arts degree, the math, history, philosophy, english lit, etc.combine to make me a more balanced human being. In my 30 year career with DuPont I drew on all of those elements to help me in my various job assignments.

Networking is a great example of synergy. When you combine all the elements of your contacts in your neighborhood, workplace, church, clubs, schools and so forth you will find that you have a fairly formidable network. When you need to you can use all those elements in a synergistic fashion to drive to a goal.

The most overused example of this concept is a football team. It is just too ripe to ignore. Our defending collegiate championship football team is Auburn. Now Auburn did not just fall together in perfect alignment to go undefeated and win the NCAA championship. It took people who knew how to block, tackle, kick, throw, run and so forth. It also took the coaches to put it all together in game plan. All the parts came together in a synergy that produced a champion.

I read a little book to one of my grand children that comes to mind. It is called There was an old lady who swallowed a fly !. At one point the story goes like this: " There was an old lady who swallowed a cow. I don't know how she swallowed a cow ! She swallowed the cow to swallow the goat. She swallowed the goat to swallow the dog. She swallowed the dog to swallow the cat. She swallowed the cat to swallow the bird. She swallowed the bird to swallow the spider, that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to swallow the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly."

So that is the way we synergize. We spend our lives in pursuit of swallowing concepts, ideas, experience, etc. The end result is that we are able to accomplish the end result by drawing upon all of the foregoing elements. Our effectiveness in life sort of hinges on the elements which we have incorporated.

Seek first to understand then to be understood

What a long header for one of the seven habits. It is as wise as it is lengthy. How many times do we fly off half cocked in one direction or another? I suppose that is the nature of most of us. We live in a world of instant gratification. Why most of us cannot go without tweeting or facebooking for more than just a few minutes.

I remember a fictitious story of a woodcutter who was a widower and had his small infant son and a German shepherd living with him. He had to go out for some supplies so he left his infant sleeping quietly and trusted his dog to watch and protect his child. When he returned home he found his little cabin covered in blood and his child was not anywhere to be seen. He drew the conclusion that his dog had betrayed him and attacked his child in his absence. He quickly put an end to his dog’s life as it had obviously become a man eater and killed his child. It was not until after he had consummated this act of vengeance that he heard his child’s muffled cry from under his own nearby bed. It was then that he noticed the crashed in window where the intruder had come into his home. He then found the corpse of the wolf that his faithful dog had fought off, courageously protecting his child. One can only imagine the great remorse of the woodcutter when he discovered how he had jumped to an erroneous conclusion.

It is so very vital, especially in business, that we seek to understand before we require that we be understood. I wonder if Florida’s newly elected governor has inculcated this habit? I wonder if he truly anticipated the great wave of discomfort that he will cause in disrupting the lives of so many state of Florida workers in his policy implementation? I notice that he was booed rather emphatically as he served as the grand marshal of our Springtime Tallahassee parade. I wonder if he and his advisers truly sought to understand the plight of the citizenry when they sought to move quickly to make good on campaign promises.

I have noted that great wave of political correctness that has made public figures think carefully before they utter one particular syllable being concerned with how it will be spun. I think of people like Fuzzy Zoeller, Mr. Don Imus, Senator Trent Lott. The list goes on almost into the ifinite. They should have spent a little time seeking to understand what their declarations were going to do to the people who listened to them. Their careers all ended on their inability to understand.

We must do all we can possibly do in amassing information that will lead us in the direction of correct choices. To neglect this habit is to put ourselves at risk in our careers. I think back on my own lapses in judgment over the years and I wince in some degree of anguish. How I wish I had taken time to speak a little more carefully, not react to a particular rumor or push a plan of action in a wrong direction.

I remember an experience that I had back in October of 1999. I was a busy government affairs manager for my company and had been in the fight of my life with a legislative issue. I was exhausted and badly needed to get away from work and town. My wife and I took a trip to the Smokeys in the midst of the change in leaves. I swore to myself that I was going to forget work and not even check my voicemail. Well I lasted into about Wednesday and whilst my Mother-In-Law and wife were in the Sylva, NC WalMart I decided to check my voicemail. I fielded a call from the state of Florida director of the board of pharmacy. He advised me that I had lost the support of an important member of the board and he was launching torpedoes in my direction to scuttle my product. If he were successful then my company would lose millions in dollars of business on my watch. As I hung up, my vacation was over, I had to immediately respond to this situation. I was in the darkest of moods. As I waited for my wife and her Mom to come out of the WalMart I struck up a conversation with a gentleman who was waiting for someone to pick him up. As I looked out at the mountain vista before me with leaves that were just sparkling with color, I mentioned to the man that I was from Florida and had not ever seen these leaves as beautiful as they were currently. I was not ready for his response. He said, " They tell me they are beautiful. I live here but I have never seen them. I have been blind since birth." I was speechless. Here I was caught up in the business disapointment, fearing failure and loss of revenue and maybe even my job. However, I could see the leaves, my wife's face, the road ahead, etc. This man corrected my perspective immediately and set me on the proper pathway. I thereafter went on my way with a measured sense of well being and set a clear path forward and corrected the business threat and continued to stay on the winning side of the issue.

Seeking first to understand the proper perspective on all things, rather than having others understand you, is vitally important.