10 Things I learned in 2010

Lesson 1:

Anyone who holds a conversation with you and tells you with every other breath what a great Christian they are, watch your back. I had a client this past year with whom I had that experience. They tried to throw me under the bus on a deal, yet all the while telling me how close they were to Jesus. Don't listen so much to what they say. Just watch what they do.

Lesson 2

If you are healthy then give mucho thanks. My wife came within 24 hours of the pearly gates this past spring. After almost 6 weeks in the hospital at a cost of $250,000 and now many months of trying to come back she is still not where she was before. She is trying hard and is still here. Life is very, very hard without your health.

Lesson 3

I saw a great bumper sticker this year. It said "Wag more, bark less." Isn't that a wonderful idea? We naturally like to grouse and complain, at least I do. We should try very hard to be a bit more positive and way less negative.

Lesson 4

There is still independence in the citizenry of this country. The tea party movement was a real deal. We sent a 24 year vetted Congressman home here in North Florida because he got on the wrong side of the tea party. That scenario was replicated all over America. The will of the people is still something to be reckoned with.

Lesson 5

Friends are hard to find. I discovered this year that people who I would have thought would stand up and fight with me over nearly any issue that was important to me can toss you aside and never even return your phone calls. You are lucky if you have 2 or 3 people whom you can call friend. Most of those you can truly count on come from the midst of your own family. Be nice to people in general but lean on those 2 or 3 that are closest.

Lesson 6

Hang out with 2 and 3 year olds more. I was having a particularly hard day this past year. I went to see my 2 year old grandson, Benjamin. I found him out in his driveway playing with his cars. His favorite is 'Mater from the movie "Cars". I was telling him about my bad day and he looked at me and said, " Go fast, Pop." He then roared off down the driveway pushing 'Mater as fast as he could. He was consumed with enthusiasm and happiness. Nothing seemed to worry him. I have tried to remember that attitude when the sledding gets rough.

Lesson 7

This recession we are in is seriously real. In my business I have seen more and more people who have had to reinvent themselves and move on to something new. I know dozens of people who have lost their homes, jobs, life savings and their joy and happiness. This recession is real.

Lesson 8

Things change. That beautiful young lady you knew back in college is just as old and wrinkled and most likely as unattractive as you are. She has changed. If you have not kept up with technology you are out of touch and unless you make some herculean adjustments you will remain out of touch. The music that young people like nowadays is not going to do it for you. Roy Orbison, Ricky Nelson and Elvis are dead. Things change. Adopt it or get run over by it.

Lesson 9

Sometimes you have to die to get better. I lost one of the best friends I ever had this past year to cancer. He was just shy of 60. I had known him for 6 years. He was
a soulmate. I and others stayed with him as the cancer began to eat him away. He fought it as courageously as is possible. In the end he labored for every breath and groaned in agony. The only way for him to get better was for him to die. I was in his presence after he died. He was peaceful and serene. Sometimes you have to die to get better.

Lesson 10

You need to go on vacation. Two of the high points of this past year were a trip to Savannah with my wife back in January. It was record cold. We were about the only people there and had Savannah almost to ourselves. We stayed 4 nights in a bed and breakfast before she got so sick. We watched 'Bama win the national football Championship from that B&B. Into the summer the whole family spent a week on the banks of the Tuckaseegee river in a mountain home in Sylva North Carolina. It was a week of playing with the little ones, laughing and watching movies and playing board games and of course eating lots of chow. This was after my wife's illness and it was restorative for all of us, especially her.

Astronaut Don Lind

This past week I had the opportunity to listen to a presentation by former astronaut, Don Lind. As a young man back in Montgomery Alabama in 1964'ish I used to hang out with a lot of Air Firce brats. I was aware of and became a fan of Don Lind. He was a PhD in Physics and was also a navy pilot, before he became an astronaut. His son Dave lives here in Tallahassee and is a PhD and also teaches Physics at Florida State University.

I have kept up with Dr. Lind over the better part of 40 years and have always held him in the utmost of esteem. He flew on one of the sky labs and was lifted into space on the Challenger. I never knew this particular fact. He and his crew were the last crew to successfully fly Challenger into space. The next crew that went up on it were subjected to a fiery explosion that ended all of their lives. I believe that was January 28, 1986.

After the Challenger disaster Dr. Lind told our recent gathering that he was called into a NASA office in Houston and was told the following. You may recall that the reason that the Challenger exploded was because of a defective O-ring sealing the rocket booster from the separation configuration between it and the payload. This same defect existed on Dr. Lind's flight. The same malfunction occurred but through some miraculous coincidence a fragment of the O-ring plugged the rupture just long enough to prevent the fuel from rushing sideways thusly stopping the explosion on their flight. He told us that he was advised by this project supervisor that he and his colleagues had come within .3 seconds of the same fate as the crew of 1/28/86.

He testified as to how chilling of a realization that was. That he came that close to dying caused him a great deal of reflection. The thought that he could have ended up a charred cinder in less than one second had serendipity not have saved him was sobering.

Now he had landed almost 100 flights on the deck of a carrier during his flying days. He had led a life that involved a great deal of risk taking.

I can isolate several near misses in my life. Experiences behind the wheel of a car, behind the handle bars of a motorcycle, being a few inches to the left of a 30-06 round out in the woods during deer hunting season. I am sure that there have been numerous close calls that I was not even aware of.

We humans are most likely amongst the most fragile of all life forms here on planet earth. We are a delicate balance of carbon atoms suspended in just the right chemical status to keep us getting up in the morning. If the homeostatic balance is marginalized in any fashion we are toast.

I remember many years ago a railroad accident in Youngstown, Florida. That is near Panama City. A couple of young men thought it would be fun to interfere with the integrity of a railroad track. Their vandalism caused a freight train to derail. One of the cars was filled with chlorine. When the car was ruptured a fog of chlorine gas ensued. It was fairly early in the morning. As cars proceeding south on US 231 approached the area they noticed what they thought was a little fog hanging over the road. As they drove through the mist they unfortunately found themselves breathing poisonous chlorine gas. The outcome was 14 fatalities. They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I remember reading a short story by Mark Twain called " The Mysterious Stranger". It had as its main point how precarious life is. It was somewhat of a commentary on how silly, Twain's opinion, that the theory of predestination was.

I suppose we should live each moment as if it were to be our last one. We would all be a lot better off, I would imagine.

You suppose God is an Auburn fan?

I noted back when Auburn University squeaked by Arkansas about mid-season, on a Thursday night, that head coach Chizik told the lady with the big ear rings and TSH driven vocal chords, " This win is a GOD-THANG." Yesterday when he came from behind to beat the defending national champions in their back yard he announced to the interviewer, "God is good !"

Now I appreciate his obvious stalwart belief system. He has a right to declare his unadulterated faith. But isn't declaring God to even be a football fan a bit diminishing of His role as First Cause, Prime Mover, Creator of the Universe, etc.? I believe that to wear your religion on your sleeve brandishing it about for all to see is contrary to a spiritual personna. If you believe it, put it on and wear it, don't tell me about it. I don't need for you to save my soul at a football game on national TV.

I personally believe that tossing His name around for helping you pass a test, win an account, find something at a garage sale, turning the traffic light green at just the right time is on an approach to taking his name in vain. It might not be as severe as the lunatic golfer who curses, using his sacred name, when he duffs a putt, but it is in the neighborhood.

War Eagle and beat the 'Cocks and the Ducks and bring that national championship trophy back to Alabama for the second year in a row. This year it can be on display at the WalMart in Auburn, rather than Tuscaloosa.

The Illusive Perfect Holiday

Just what is it that makes most Holidays a living nightmare? I believe that it is the illusion that we create for ourselves that this particular day will evolve into all that we hold in our minds as the quintiessential, primrose, poetic yet traditional holiday-esque time capsule. Just how long this illusion lasts into the day depends on an entire host of random acts. Most of us give up on the illusion by the time the perfect feast is laid out in front of us.

You want to sleep late into the morning. One of the central players in this theatrical endeavor is usually the maternal figure. She has not slept at all the night before because of all the responsibility she bears for bringing this illusion together in as faultless of a pattern as is possible.

You do your best to sleep but eventually guilt drives you out from under your warm covers. You wander down to the kitchen area for a bowl of corn flakes and encounter the red-eyed "significant other". With her nerves already frayed to the breaking point she points out an area by your recliner where your dog has evacuated his stomach of a load of green, soil-laced, froth. Before you have time to place anything into your stomach you have to get the paper towels, 409 and mop to remove the gastric exudate of your "best friend" from the family room. By the end of the day you will reinforce his role as your best friend from the experience of general interplay with various members of your family.

The day quickly springs to life. We are short on eggs by two. "I knew I should not have listened to you when you said that 2 dozen eggs was all we needed." says the red eyed galley chef. "Now what are we going to do?" You suggest that she cut down on the 13 pies she is going to make by one and therefore problem solved. She walks away muttering to herself and you go out to fetch your paper.

The newspaper looks like it is strapped with bailing wire to accomodate all the ads in their special, "pre-Black Friday" issue. You only want to find out who is playing football today and if there are any college hoops worth watching. As you leave all the ads in a 4-5 foot deep pile in the corner, extract the portion of 2-3 pages that actually deal with news and sports you pour yourself some Wheaties. You then find a quiet corner to crunch and read. Before you are able to finish half your bowl the next crisis hits. Uncle Ed has been released from the asylum and is coming to join us for dinner.

You wander out to find Uncle Ed. Now just which bridge overpass was it that he was sleeping under? Ah, it must be this one with the Mexican diplomats emassed. I pull up, place my .45 Smith and Wesson in my belt and get out of the car. Uncle Ed, over here ! Here he comes to join me. He asks me if it would be OK if he brings along some friends of his? I hesitate to respond then it becomes apparent to me that they are all imaginary friends, sort of like a virtual Facebook page. He wants to bring William the Conquerer, Sir Winston Churchill, Shoeless Joe Jackson and his agent. I can't really see the harm so I tell him it is OK.

Now comes the fun part. Taking him and his friends in the front door. By the time we have arrived the rest of the family is with us. They are comprised of a Judge, a police detective, a software engineer, a physician, and various working stiffs like myself. There are numerous conversations ongoing. They cover a variety of subjects: tea parties, Sarah Palin and Bristol, Mitt Romney, Tom Delay, Rick Scott, Obamacare,etc. Uncle Ed finally brings everyone to a focal point by announcing that Shoeless Joe and Sir Winston are hungry and when are we going to eat.

We go out to bring in the children. They have removed the cover from the pool and most of them are in the pool with or without clothes. The couple next door are in their hot tub, definitely sans clothes as is evident from the atrophied body parts as they make a mad dash inside .

By the time we sit down to eat the food is cold. Most of our women are off reading the paper and eating Wheaties. The dog has somehow consumed most of the turkey and dressing anyway. Uncle Ed calls on Shoeless Joe's agent, who is a reformed Druid, to pray over the food.

Later on that night, the mother figure says, "What a lovely Thanksgiving we had." Remember that you have to get down the Christmas decorations tomorrow first thing. The dog and I both vomit a sickly, green-hued froth near my recliner and we seem to have come full circle.

Roll Tide and pass the cornbread dressing

I am thankful to be alive and well this Thangsgiving 2010. I am more thankful that my wife, Nancy, is alive and well. She had a serious brush with the grim reaper this past year. My daughter, Beth and her family have moved back from Pensacola and are now only 15 minutes from us rather than 3 hours. Our son,Drew, is happily employed and getting ready to have a new baby and our daughter Emily has been here all along with us. She is getting ready to give birth to another little girl. That will make 7 total grandchildren for us.

Someone once said that the Americans had discovered the perfect holiday, Thanksgiving. You do not have to go buy anyone a gift. All you do is eat all day long and watch football. How could there be a more perfect holiday?

I am healthy. A little too fat but I can walk 5 miles without too much of an effort. I can walk 18 holes of golf and occassionally break 90. Now I do take some meds. I spent thrity years in the pharm business and I truly do believe that pharmaceuticals do, indeed, extend and enhance life.I am thankful for them.

All in all my life is pretty good. I am not camped under a tank in Afghanistan or Iraq. I give thanks to those who do so voluntarily to protect us back here at home while I watch my Crimson Tide on TV and sneak an extra plate of cornbread dressing and gravy.

We Americans have a lifestyle that is the envy of the world. Our freedoms are unprecedented. I do not particularly understand a lot of stuff that goes on here. I had to quit watching the nightly lineup on Fox news from 8 PM on. It got me so worried about things I could not sleep. If there is not some sort of ball involved in what is going on TV-wise I just turn it off and try to read a book or something.

I have good friends. I love my church. I love my family. I had a wonderful career and am now into a second career that makes me realize what a great career the first one was.

Now if Alabama can just figure out a way to beat Auburn this will end up being a pretty good year, in spite of some seriously concerning moments.

Macy's in Philadelphia gets it!

Just when you thought it was getting to where you might be arrested for saying Merry Christmas to someone the following transpires. Can you just imagine walking through the mall and having a "Random Act of Culture" transpire before your eyes?

With all the political correctness folks around we have to think about any little thing that we might say that is offensive. We have come to this juncture through two or three decades of sensitivity training. I think we would have been better off spending our time in spontaneity training.

This "just happened" at the mall. Not like a nativity scene that shows up in the mall and the political correctness posse shuts it down because of the terrible affront it might be to someone to actually display symbols of the most relevant event in history.

I find this so appealing that it just happened. The lovely music of Handel's Messiah of course did not just happen. This presentation did not just happen. Both took countless hours and days of preparation. However the delivery of this random act did just happen. You can tell by the cameras panning the shoppers that they were mesmerized and delighted.

Good for us. Good for Macy's. Believe me I won't hesitate to spend my little bit of money there. God bless the organizational genius of those who made this happen. Just a few days ago.

If you have not seen it then please visit the following link. You Tube says that it has already had almost 3 million hits. What inspired genius to open the Holiday season. It renews my faith in all of us. To quote a famous line from a similar Holiday story, " God bless us, every one !"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp_RHnQ-jgU&feature.com

Georgia sunshine, in Tallahassee

This is my little grandaughter, Georgia. She calls herself Georgie and she calls me Pop. She is one of five little grandchildren that my wife, Nancy, and I have together. Her Mother, Beth, has always been a bright, sweet and loving daughter to us. Georgia has two older sisters who have minds of their own. I am not saying that Georgia is any different.

Nancy recently had to go see a vitreoretinologist. The purpose was to have a needle inserted into her eyeball and deliver opthamologic grade steroids into her retina. I have always used an extreme, falacious example of deciding to give up golf and taking up inserting needles in my eye. The punch line on that declarative was that activity would be preferable to playing golf, at the level I play it. Well little did I know that Nancy would actually have to have that done one day.

Georgia went with us on this particular day as her Mother was volunteering in Kate's, her 5 year old's, classroom. Georgia and I played in the car. We listened to every song I could find on various CDs, including Ray Charles' version of Georgia. She obviously claims that song to be about her. After all the games I could come up with over an hour of waiting she decided that she wanted to see her Nana.

As it had been so long in the waiting I acquiesced to her demands. It is much easier that way, I am told. It was almost noon and the physician doing the procedure had to come into the office

in order to see Nancy. The waiting room was bare and this little imp burst through the front door and queried the receptionist, " Where's my Nannie?" The receptionist immediately brightened and smiled, Georgia has that effect on most anyone she meets, and asked her what her Nannie's name was. Georgia said, "Nannie, Nannie !". I quietly told the receptionist that this was Mrs. Vass' grand daughter.

The receptionist said to her, " Come with me and we will find your Nannie." She happened to be in the dark waiting area midstream in her first of 12 episodes of this procedure. As Georgia entered the room she saw her Nana. She squealed with delight and ran across the room yelling, "Nannie, Nannie." She climbed up on her lap and just hugged her for several seconds. I think she sensed that her Nana was doing something that was not terribly pleasant. Nana was just so happy and was warmed by Georgia's attention that day. I am sure that it had to have made the experience more bearable.

Georgia taught me a lesson. Of course I am not a cute little 3 year old girl. I am an overweight 65 year old man. The lesson is to try your best to put a little sunshine into other people's lives. It is so easy to get grumpy, cynical and mean. On the other hand, a kind gesture to anyone you encounter. Some pointless conversation to a person you pass on the way. A random note expressing concern or friendship to a person you have lost contact with. A random phone call to someone who is alone. All of these acts have an enormous effect on other people.

Something we ought to think about as we head into this very difficult and lonely time of the year for some people. The best gifts do not come from Macy's. They come from the act of giving a little of your time to someone who needs it.