Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Mr. I'm Sorry But That Beard is Nasty
I am struggling to remain a fan of Major League baseball. I was mad at them for a very long time after their last strike. I just cannot get over a bunch of primadonnas who go on strike when they are already making millions of dollars . Forget the poor slob who cannot take his family out to the ball game because he cannot afford the $500 it takes to secure tickets, parking, hot dogs, peanuts and cracker jacks. I'm sorry that is just flat out wrong. On top of it all every team has to have a brand new updated park, i.e. the sorry Atlanta Braves. They finish dead last in their division in 2016 and what is their punishment? A brand new, state of the art baseball facility named Sun Trust stadium. On top of that they often look to tax dollars to supplement those construction moves. This is the collective group of geniuses who dealt Craig Kimbrell, to the San Diego Padres. Kimbrell is without debate the very best closer in the game. He was then and he is most certainly now. What is he a 5 time All Star? He now closes for the Boston Red Sox who may well be on their way to another post season appearance on his 100 mph fastball. They are certainly hanging tough with the Orioles and the Yankees in that division within this very young season.
I digress however. What I mostly want to complain about, especially in MLB, are those scruffy, ridiculous, insane, disgusting, nasty, unhealthy, unwholesome looking BEARDS. It has gotten beyond unprofessional. There seems to be a contest out there as to who can do the best Alley Oop impression. What on earth has happened to our boys of summer? It used to be that managers would levy fines to players who did anything that brought the character of the game down. Nowadays not only has management turned a blind eye to this disappointing trend they seem to have embraced it. A clean shave conveys to most of us in this culture of middle America a crispness in personna. The professional in the well fitted suit with a nice tie to match and shoes that are shined and a nice conservative haircut with a close shave portrays a certain level of couth in my vernacular. If I wanted to hang out with people who are able to tie their beards behind their heads along with a pony tail in order to eat a meal I would travel to Afghanistan and hang out with the Taliban.
Can you just imagine being the HR chief in charge of recruiting, interviewing and hiring personnel these days? You want to hire a customer service manager at a big department store. You line up 50 people to interview and here they come. Males and females in the mix. The females sport countless tattoos and piercings in wierd places. These are most like covered up strategically during the interview. 3 of every 4 guys is sporting a beard and perhaps a pony tail. Throw in ear rings and tattoos on these guys and the choice becomes very simple in my world. Give me someone with a conservative haircut, clean shaven and no tatts and nose rings. He has got the job 100% of the time in my world.
Remember back to when we were young and the game of the week was brought to us by Gillette? I can almost hear that jingle. "To look sharp, and feel sharp too...................." The rest of it ran out to the conclusion that you could accomplish this image by going out and buying a Gillette razor and using the Dad-Blamed thing. What has our world come to? I still love baseball and am drawn to it in the summer time. When there is a baseball game on I am in heaven. I love watching Heidi Watney on Quick Pitch every morning and catching up on what has gone on all across the various leagues.
I guess I am just in a bad mood because I never could grow a decent beard. I have too much Hispanic in me to be terribly hirsute. But I gotta tell you. MLB has become a Petri dish for bacteria and micro organisms living in many of those beards they so proudly wear. How do they ever wash those things? I'll just bet the dugouts smell like a shed full of wet goats as a result of all that wet hair.
I guess I will hang on and continue to follow my teams. But, I am telling you. The day that Heidi Watney comes out wearing a full beard to give me the happenings of baseball on Quick Pitch, I am done.